Confused? Have you ever heard someone joking about being like an ostrich, just stick your head in the sand and pretend that nothing is wrong? I'm not sure if ostriches really do this in the wild (if so I sure do wonder how they've not yet gone extinct??) but I've heard tons of puns and jokes about it and they really all relate to us humans being in some form of denial. Well I have to finally admit something. I've spent the last nine years in denial about one very important part of my life and that's Boo.
I never should have gotten Boo in the first place because if the people who were supposed to be looking out for my best interests were really doing that they would not have let me adopt this horse. I was young, inexperienced and naive and Boo was green, spooky, dishonest and on many occasions down right dangerous. Just because I had a "velcro butt" and wanted a younger horse to keep competing with after Scotty retired and Boo was a free donation horse through the 4-H program didn't make it a safe or smart decision to allow me to take him. Luckily, I've never suffered any catastrophic injuries from riding him and he's definitely made me a better, stronger rider over the years but I took my fair share of falls off Boo. And worse than that, my confidence took a major beating for years because I couldn't trust my partner.
I've spent the last nine years doing everything in my power to try and help Boo to enjoy the job that I was asking him to do, which was primarily to jump at events and hunter/jumper shows. Over the years I've tried countless things including, but by no means limited to: dental work, chiropractic, riser pads, saddle changes, bit changes, riding lessons, schooling and numerous other life experience opportunities. Nothing has fixed the problem. Granted, I can take the blame for a lot of it over the years because I was such a green rider that I had no business trying to train such a green, difficult horse. But after countless hours and the blood, sweat, and tears that we've invested I have finally come to terms with the fact that my horse just does not want to be a jumping horse.
Now, I'm not saying that it was all a waste! I'm a better rider for having had him and he's a better horse for having been with me, but his heart isn't in it and his brain never has been. I'm incredibly proud of the fact that I've managed to train him up to 3'3" fences but he's unpredictable and often times down right dishonest. I used to think that this was a bad behavior that I could help him overcome by instilling confidence in his abilities and helping him to be physically fit enough to do it safely and soundly, but when it comes down to it I was turning a deaf ear on him and refusing to listen to what he was trying to tell me. Boo is more than physically capable of jumping well over 3'3" but he doesn't want to and I've done us both a disservice by refusing to listen.
I've had this growing voice in the back of my head for about a year now. However, the moment of my real enlightenment occurred this weekend. Reily is not jumping again until next week and won't be jumping in any shows for at least a month after that and I didn't want to take him to the Thoroughbred Celebration Horse Show at the VA Horse Center in Lexington just to do flat classes so he was staying home, but I entered Boo in the 2'7" and 3'1" jumper classes on Saturday evening. To be fully prepared I took him to Pat's last Saturday for a jumping lesson and it was good but he pulled some of his typical shenanigans and Pat finally got to see what I meant when I would talk to her about his behavior. So yesterday we got up there with plenty of time to go check in at the show office, get him clean and tacked up and the wonderful boyfriend held him for me while I walked the course and got comfortable with my plan. We were at the end of the order of go in the second class of the night and it took a good hour and a half before we got in the ring, but he was calm and relaxed on the grounds and we warmed up well over some smaller jumps then we raised them to 2'9" and 3' and he jumped those in fine fashion so I was thinking, "Yeah, this course won't be any problem, 2"7" is small and those are all jumper-type jumps, no fillers or scary walls for him to peak at." I felt really confident heading into the ring. He was well in-front of my leg and I even gave him a little tap with the crop to remind him that I meant business and I wasn't afraid to use the lord stick if he sucked back. We went in and he was looky as we circled through then started cantering to the first jump. Ten, count them, TEN strides out this horse had already thrown in the towel. There was absolutely nothing I was doing wrong. I was sitting up. I was squeezing as hard as I could. I was using my spurs. So I reached back and smacked him on the ass as hard as I could and cantered him in a circle to re-approach. Despite everything he cantered the last 5 strides up to the jump perfectly sideways. To be honest, it would have been a beautiful canter half-pass if that had been what I was actually asking for but obviously it wasn't. The third and final attempt I thought maybe we would actually get over it because I finally managed to get him straight but he pulled a dirty stop right at the base and we were dismissed. There was nothing else to do but shake my head and walk out of the ring. But that was the final straw, the one that broke the camel's back as they say. At the time I was so mad at him and humiliated for the both of us that if someone had have offered to put him on their trailer and take him home with them I would have just handed him over and said good luck. But of course, despite all of the long years of aggravation and disappointment, I still care about the stupid beast and want him to have a good home.
I'm going to advertise him as a flat horse ONLY. He won't go to anyone who has any interest in jumping, period. What I'll be looking for is someone who wants a horse that they can love and shower with affection but have no real competitive ambitions. His perfect fit would be a home where he might do a little w/t/c or dressage work a couple days a week but better yet he'd LOVE to be someone's trail buddy. He's ridden out extensively with me and he's always been happiest just wandering around, getting lost in the woods and eventually finding our way home. He could be a low level dressage horse for someone who wants to show a handful of times a year but this horse just doesn't want to be asked to be truely competitive. I plan to do a home inspection, call references, and write into the sales contract a legally binding addendum that I have to be offered the right of first refusal if they ever decide to sell him and that I get to come visit and check up on him throughout the year. Some people may be turned off by that, thinking that I'm being overbearing but a real horseman will understand that I'm only looking out for the best interests of my horse.
It's been a long time coming and I truly think we'll both be happier in the long run. It's just hard to admit that it's time to let go and move on. So, like I was saying, I wish it actually paid to be an ostrich.
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